Friends

You have all heard the saying "If you treated your friends like you treat your family, you would have none." Do you know someone that statement applies to? I know I do.

Over the past few months I have thought long and hard about what makes a friend. And how you can have different types of friends. This year I have made it my mission to reclaim my inner DANA.(like diva, but wickeder) I was having difficulty with editing my life. To get rid of the old dead weight, and make room for the new. Why waste the effort with people, when they do not put any effort out to you. Whoever said that a relationship is 50-50 is full of shit. I do not want 50-50 I want 100-100, and anything less will not do.

Not too long ago I had a drink with a "old friend" we have not seen each other in like 13+ years. He came into town so I left my husband and son at home and met said "friend" for a drink, I wondered if it would be weird, because we had not seen each other in so many years. But it was the same old familiar friendship, laughing, joking, serious chatting that we had in high school, we had not missed a beat. I wondered when I left WHY it had taken so long to get together? If we could be that effortless in friendship why did we let it drift away, like something that was so unimportant.

Then you have your "work friends", you know the ones that you spend more time with then your spouse. Yet you really are only convenient friends, you spend lots of time with them, have fun and yet when you leave the place of work you leave them behind. They are no longer part of your life, out of sight, out of mind so to speak.

You have friends that turn into "couple friends". You know the girls are friends, or the boys are friends and then you all get married and become couple friends. They can be a lot of work, because the spouses may not be great friends and then it is hard to hang out with them. Then when one of the couples have kids.... Well you all know how that ends, you start seeing each other once a year, because all they do is talk about there kids. And when you do not have kids, you do not care about how well so-in-so is pooping, eating, sleeping, etc.

Then you have the "family friends." You know you have to see them because they are family, but you really like them. They are easy and accepting of you and all your glorious moments because well they have seen you at your worst, and they still keep hanging around.

Then you have the "SPARK friends", everything fits, the spouses all fit, the kids fit. The spark is with a small group of people, a few families that just fit. You know when you can do just about anything and it is the BEST day of your life. You can not get together with out your facing hurting from laughing, and the best hangover in the world the next day. You go for a quick one and they have to stay for 10. They make everything great, you can have them show up when you have a kid melting down in the bed room, a house that looks like a bomb went off and be in PJ'S at 4 in the afternoon, and not once do you wonder "are they judging me?" Or you can have the kids running around until they look like they are going to fall over from exhaustion but you just don't want to go because you are truly enjoying there company.

Then you have the "dead weight friends", you know you need to cut them loose. No matter how much you give, you never get. Its all about them, and their problems. And well sometimes I want to talk about me. It is hard to cut them loose, or you can't because they are family. But whatever the reason you can not cut them loose, treat them like the stock market "NEVER put in more then you are willing to loose."

I have never figured out why it is so easy to be friends with some people and so much work with others? When you have small kids the school always says you can not bring birthday invitations to school unless you invite everyone. Are you friends with everyone? Would you want to have to be friends with everyone that you have met? So why would we ask our kids to be? I have always said that you need to be respectful of everyone but you do not have to be friends with everyone.

So to all of my friends, and you know what group you are in. Thank you for being my friend.

Sabbatical

Well its been a while. Well 4 months to be exact, I have thought about writing but never seemed to have the time. I know I said that I was going to have 1 hour everyday for myself, and I did but I spent it reading. There are SO many great books. It was good, but now it is time to write.

I have wondered what my first post back would be, lacrosse, kids, end of school??? No they are all busy winding down and frankly I am over them for this year. We had a great season, the kid is growing, grade 1 was good. Yup enough said.

Holiday is booked for the summer, can't wait to sit on the beach and do NOTHING!! I can drink beer, play in the water and work on my tan, all while looking at the mountains in BC. What a great way to spend a week.

I am a little unsure of what to pack, because we have a COTTAGE booked. I can pack to camp, and to stay in a hotel. But in a cottage, how much food, coffee, do I really need that??? Kids stuff for the beach, floating things, sand pails, brain overload!!!! I am sure I will be fine, and after all I am sure BC, Canada has a few stores.

I have a month to pack, unpack and repack. I am sure it will all fit in the car!